The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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