Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
