so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
