do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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