Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
