My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
