I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
40s are totally the cure
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
