dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
