everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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