If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
