Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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