i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
