If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
