You just made me feel so damn special
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
