He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
