some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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