We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
