I could have mohawked her pubes.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
