Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
