I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
