OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
