How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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