I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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