My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Randomize
