Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
