tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
