On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
