dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
