If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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