Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
