it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Welp...herpes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
