what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just gift wrapped bread.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
