Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
