I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
