No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
