I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
