Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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