And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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