My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
