so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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