And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
