I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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