Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
