I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
