just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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