My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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