I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
