Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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