I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
