Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
