Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
