THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
