That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I have post one night stand depression
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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